#you really DO have to be delusional to see more to it than that...
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You always try so hard to hide when something's bothering you. You're so careful not to let your phone unlocked and out in the open, you try not to let your eyes unfocus as you think about whatever's bothering you; you work so hard to keep being productive despite your sorrows.
But they know you better than yourself, doll.
They see how your shoulders tense up whenever you leave Price's office and how you're always so wary of your surroundings, looking this and that way, waiting behind walls to avoid certain people. You can't hide your fears from them. Not from them. Not from the ones who were placed in this godforsaken world to protect you no matter what.
Figuring things out is easy. There's a reason they're a special task force. Swooping your phone from you is as easy as stealing candy from a little kid, and so is unlocking your phone (you need to be more careful about your passwords, love. Really? Your childhood's dog birthday? That's like basic information for them).
And when you come back to the room, flustered, fretting over your phone, it's there: on Price's desk, as if it was untouched. They hide the anger caused by their discoveries behind clenched jaws and hardened eyes and wait until you leave to begin discussing their plan of action (it's cute how you still look at each one of them to make sure they didn't see a thing).
Love, why didn't you tell them? Why did they have to search through your messages to find the reason behind your sadness? Don't you trust them? They're your guard dogs, doll, why don't you just order them to maul and gnaw and rip to shreds whenever you need?
It took them breaking into your phone to find out about the Sergeant who's been messaging you. They could read the suspicion behind your words as you accused him of pranking you after he asked you out.
Pranking you? Pranking?
They read the following messages, where he admitted to his lies – it was a bet, he said. Some friends had bet a good amount of money that he wouldn't be courageous enough to ask you out and then stand you up. He then had the gall to thank you for believing his words and going to the date. For dressing up "weirdly" and being delusional enough to think someone like him would be interested in you.
"just an advice: putting lipstick on a pig doesn't work lmao thanks for guaranteeing me the money tho" he had said.
Seeing red wasn't enough to describe how they felt.
Soap could barely stay still. He leaned his weight on one foot and then the other, itching to run as fast as he could until he found the bastards that dared to insult his bonnie. He needed to feel their bones giving out as he punched them into a bloody pulp. He needed to scream, to let you know that you were too good for all of those scumbags, that he and his mates were the only ones who could appreciate you, touch you with the reverence and devotion that you deserved.
Gaz felt like he failed you. The sourness of his anger mingled with the bitterness of his sorrow. He swore he could taste his emotions on his tongue. He always makes sure to tell how beautiful he thinks you are, how lovely your uniqueness is to him – his little porcelain doll he wished he could place on a shelf. To think some random man managed to hurt you and disrespect you under his watch... it was unbelievable. He would spend a lifetime spoiling you until you forgot about it. After he sunk his teeth into those men throats and ripped them apart, of course.
Ghost was the other side of Soap's coin. But while the Scotsman wanted to seek and destroy as quickly as they do in action, Ghost wanted cruelty. He wanted to take it slow, deliberate. One fingernail for every tear they made you shed. One bone snapped in half for every second you suffered due to their disrespect. If it depended on him, they would only live up until the clouds that covered your sun cleared up. There would be no surrendering, no mercy. You deserve thorough revenge, lovie. And only the muzzle that Price puts on his rabid snout can hold Ghost back.
Price wondered why you didn't tell them about this... incident. Why? Are you trying to defend those poor excuses for men despite how terribly they disrespected you? No, that can't be it. You're their angel, but he knows you aren't some punching bag. Are you afraid they'd agree with those bastards? At that, Price has to laugh. You're so smart, love, but so so blind. You still can't see how they could sell their soul to you, if you became a devil. You still can't see how they'd kneel down on nails and pray to you if you became a saint. After Price pulls a few strings and manages to get that scum dishonorably discharged, he and his muppets would have to work really hard on making sure you know you're the only thing that matters.
#johnny soap mactavish x reader#call of duty x reader#john soap mctavish x reader#141 x reader#john price x reader#kyle gaz garrick x reader#poly 141 x reader#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#soap x reader
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hey, so i know that these kinds of posts have been flooding the jinx x reader tag lately, but i wanted to give my piece. i have a new jinx fic in the works, keep an eye out for that :)
i don’t write for men, and i never have. i’ve never seen why i would, considering that i’m a lesbian. i also never have seen why they would want to read my fics, seeing as they’re not the target audience.
my mentality when i see most female character x male reader fics is neutral. it’s not for me, why would i care? if men want to have their own spaces in the community, good for them, it doesn’t affect me. if they’re not writing about canon, confirmed lesbians, it really doesn’t matter. as much as i headcanon characters, everyone has their own headcanons as well. and most of all, these characters aren’t real. if lgbt representation isn’t being taken and it’s not something illegal being written about, why does it matter? do people not have lives outside of tumblr?
in my opinion, misandry doesn’t exist and never will. misogyny kills women, while misandry hurts men’s feelings at worst. in just the us, women were not granted no-fault divorce or the right to have a bank account in their own name until less than 100 years ago. women are having their reproductive rights threatened to this day. several countries are facing femicides- spain, turkey, and greece to name a few. women fear for their lives when driving, when walking after dark, when in the workplace. women are excluded from industries that have anything to do with STEM, along with many others.
not to mention the transmisogyny many of the men attacking writers have spewed. trans women, especially black trans women are one of the most threatened groups. trans women ARE women, point blank period. someone writing a character as trans does not cancel out the fact that they’re still a woman.
i purposely chose to attend a women’s college so that i wouldn’t have to fear for my safety when walking around campus or to my residence hall. that wasn’t the only reason, but it was a major factor. i’m constantly paranoid when i’m in an uber. i’m afraid to say no to men when flirted with in fear that they’ll act violently.
to reiterate: misandry does not exist. this is fanfiction, and if you’re so upset that the majority of arcane x reader fics are wlw, you’re more than welcome to write your own and make your own spaces, just like we have. but calling us delusional and throwing slurs will only make us want to include you less.
this is the last thing i’ll say about it. thanks for reading and to my women, don’t let this discourage you from being active in the community and putting out your work. 🖤
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I'd like to ask for a Lego monkie kid Mk with your prompts 6, 12 and 14.
Sure! I love MK, such a sweetheart... despite the tendency to... oh I don't know... trap his partner?
Yandere! MK Prompts 6, 12, 14
"A good partner must be willing to make sacrifices for their beloved! Don't you agree?"
"You were never meant to see that! Oh, what have I done...."
"It's too dangerous in the world. You need me, you should know that!"
Pairing: Romantic
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Stalking, Isolation, Attempted Imprisonment/Kidnapping, Delusional behavior, Overprotective behavior, Consensual turned forced relationship.
You love your boyfriend... he's always your sweetheart.
How could you not? MK has always attended to your every need. He's a hero, beloved by many. MK has always vowed to keep you safe....
You'd never suspect him of anything.
Everyone expects heroes to be perfect. Unfortunately, it's exactly the opposite. Ever since MK's had to deal with the issues around his town... He's never been the same.
Around you, he's all giddy and excited. However, all the traumatic experiences MK has gone through has hardened him. How could he not worry about potential threats?
Especially when it comes to you....
MK knew he had to do something as your partner. After all, how can he protect you if he doesn't have his eye on you? The idea of losing you... well...
It stresses MK out more than anything.
MK does his best to show nothing's wrong around you. After all, he's your hero, he loves you. It's his job to have you loved, cared for... and most importantly... safe.
MK's paranoia only seemed to worsen the longer he dated you. The longer he was with you, the more he was attached. Horrible events are always bound to happen when it comes to MK....
At first, his obsession over your safety started by just following you around.
Watching your daily life or clinging to your side was originally how he tried to soothe his fears. Although, even that wasn't enough for MK. Eventually... He wanted to have a future with you...
But such hopes were quickly dashed once you found out his little plan to keep you safe.
"You were never meant to see that! Oh, what have I done...."
It was bound to happen, really. You, as his partner, were going to find out about your boyfriend's imperfections eventually. Although, it wasn't anything small...
You had found a whole room in his house dedicated to you, surrounded with your interests and all sorts of different notes... along with a large bed... all meant for you.
"It isn't ready yet, baby... But, um, I was meant to sorta... ease you into it...?" MK panics, unable to look at your distressed gaze.
"Ease me into what...?" You ask shakily, looking around the room. It's your favorite color and everything. Is this the reason he didn't want you over at his house for a long time...?
"Ease you into, y'know, living with me...?" MK asks shyly, fidgeting with his hands.
"MK... it's a bit too soon—" You try to speak, but you're still in shock... and the look in his eyes doesn't help.
"A good partner must be willing to make sacrifices for their beloved! Don't you agree?" MK desperately blurts out, caging you in the room. You panic, was he trying to trap you here...?
"I get that, but-" You try to speak but MK doesn't give you time to recover.
"If you live with me, I can keep you safe! That way we can both sleep easy at night... and I can make sure nothing hurts you!" MK forces a smile, but you can see the desperation in his eyes. "C'mon, baby... It's perfect!"
"MK... You didn't need to do all this behind my back! I'm fine... I can be okay at my own home! We probably shouldn’t live together so soon...." You try to talk him down, getting close to slip by the door.
Mk, however, pushes you back and locks the door to your new room...
Your new home.
"It's too dangerous in the world. You need me, you should know that!" MK pleads, stepping closer as you back away.
You try to find a way to avoid him but there's no use. The room has no windows you can open and MK has the door locked. You try your best to plead, but MK doesn't listen.
"Babe, please..."
"You've SEEN what I deal with out there, right?" MK states sternly, glaring at you as you back yourself near the bed. "Lady Bone Demon, Azure Lion... I've had to deal with calamity after calamity since becoming Monkey King's student!"
You're practically on the bed at this point as MK stands in front of you. There's annoyance in his eyes, but desperation glistens the most. There's no reasoning with your boyfriend...
Is he even your boyfriend at this point...?
"You... just don't understand, baby." MK tries to reason, gaze softening once he sees your fear. "You don't understand the world's dangers... but I do."
MK gets on the bed, sitting between your legs as he cups your cheeks. His gaze and smile are soft, but you feel threatened in his grip. MK, your perfect boyfriend who you used to trust...
Scares you more than any demon could.
"This is why I made this room for you. This is why I need to protect you. I'm meant to be a hero... and you're meant to be my partner. Baby... living here won't be so bad!" MK grins, acting like you two are going to be married or something.
"Just... Let me protect you...." MK whispers, leaning in closer to ghost his lips over your own.
"Let me love you like your boyfriend should...."
It's then you wonder if any of this is real. You wonder if this is all some nightmare your brain conjured due to MK's odd behavior. Maybe you're not really trapped and this is a sign to reconsider your relationship with MK—
Yet, the moment you feel MK's lips on your own, you know it's real...
That thought alone is enough to make you cry.
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Some plots that I want to see for Arc 3 before I actually lose my sanity bcs I WILL be throwing hands if Netflix doesn't give us a sign:
Planning for the return of Aaravos (obviously). Claudia's return alongside with it too dont forget. (i wonder how she'll look like)
Callum learning all the arcanums. I feel like this is really important because this will help with defeating Aaravos since it's been shown he knows all primal sources. I want to see Callum at his strongest too it's gonna be so cool ngl.
Aanya and Ezran + Soren and Corvus TOGETHER PLEASE 🕯️🕯️🕯️
Kim'dael (or however you say her name) What happened to her? Where is she and why did they completely forget about her existence? I was expecting Rayla to go against her in a battle especially after what she did to her as a kid, but ig we were robbed once again. We could've maybe seen her in a bloodmoon form if that is possible for normal moonshadow elves to do.💔
Claudia either having the most emotional redemption arc (I still have a tiny bit of hope left for my girl), or becoming a full fledged villian. Maybe even worse than Aaravos. No inbetween because as much as I love this show sm, it can be a bit undecided with it's plots here and there.
Rayla finds out she's pregnant. Guys just hear me out. It could be such a good plot, kind of like Twilight: Breaking Dawn. Whilst planning for Aaravos's return, they also have to deal with the first halfling baby that hasn't been seen in Xadia for years (i think), and if it will have more abilities than usual. And I saw on someone's post that it being born at the end could represent the love and a new era between human's and elves. And other than that, it'd be cute seeing everyone stress over Rayla being reckless the entire time. (I'll pray for them all, especially Callum😭)
Zym becoming the new archdragon king. This is another important plot needed because I'm pretty sure he's the only archdragon left. Unless he goes on some sort of journey to see if there are any other archdragons out there to help rule alongside with him. Plus, we legit heard him talk bruh. I NEED MORE OF DRAGON ZUKO!!!
WE NEED ARC 3 ABEG 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
(these are just my personal thoughts i daydreamed abt delusionally btw, if i have any other ideas I'll do another post at some point)
#the dragon prince#giveusthesaga#continuethesaga#They may as well let me write it tbh#tdp fandom#rayla#rayllum#tdp#tdp arc 3#arc 3#callum#tdp ezran#tdp soren#corvus#aanya#netflix#im way too obsessed with this show its concerning now#WE NEED ARC 3 PLEASEEEE NETFLIX#im acc crying#tdp zym
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Well you HAVE to be delusional to be a lestappie, I mean you have to be delusional to even like max lol but yeah, to be a lestappie you have to be delusional bc they literally spend no time together willingly, max is just delusional and Charles is polite
so true anon 🙏
#asks & answers#anon#anti lestappen#'max is just delusional and charles is polite' might be my new favourite thing someone has said LMAOOO#LITERALLY SO TRUEEEEE TOO#like if you bother to watch any of charles' interactions with ANYONE he actually likes...#you'll see so quickly that he's just being polite to a coworker#they might not hate each other but they sure aren't friends#you really DO have to be delusional to see more to it than that...#but then again like you said; you have to be delusional to like max in the first place#i feel like a lot of max/lestappen fans really feel like fic!max is exactly what he's like irl#and i don't know how to say it any more clearly than OH GOD HE'S NOT#fic!max is the most idealised and likeable (and; yknow; non-racist) version of who max verstappen could possibly be#the reality is NOT that#and i think a lot of people need to snap out of it and realise that#it's that whole thing of ''yeah im delusional about my drivers but at least im not THAT delusional'' y'know?#ALSO!! so sorry for only answering these now... yesterday got unexpectedly super hectic 🙈#but one of my favourite weekend activities is being a hater on tumblr dot com 🤭🤭 so cheers anon!!#ilyyyy and hope you're having a great saturday!
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I may very well be swinging a bat at a hornet's nest, but I find it very interesting that the crowd that (rightfully) says "Read another book" to Harry Potter fans among the J.K. Rowling bullshit has a not-insignificant overlap with the crowd that has also only read one book (and that book is Whipping Girl).
#and they don't even read it particularly well for how much they insist that everybody reads it#the premise is that transphobia is rooted in sexism. more specifically misogyny#you would think that that the reader would make the logical connection and say 'hey this group of men who grew up as women also experience#sexism and more specifically misogyny due to having been forced to grow up as women'#and instead the prevailing conclusion is 'trans men have male privilege and are oppressing their fellow trans people -#- by virtue of being men'#or bullshit like 'trans men really are the men of the trans community' when we dare to speak on issues that are specific to our section of#the community and the overlap between FTM oppression and overall societal misogyny. the mind boggles#in order to have male privilege you first have to be seen as a man by society at large. and that does not apply to trans men nor to trans -#women. they see trans men as delusional little girls and trans women as whatever slur they can think of. but not as men usually#we are supposed to be playing for the same team and yet some of you are tackling your teammates on the field for no reason other than -#wanting a scapegoat#'read Whipping Girl 🙄' I did. years ago now. but did YOU?#to those i'm discussing: feel free to call me a transandrobro or a theyfab or whatever. IDGAF. just block me after you inevitably do it#LGBT#trans#sexism#misogyny#TME/TMA#trans men#disk horse#transphobia#transmisandry#transandrophobia#anti-transmasculinity#intracommunity issues#intracommunity transphobia
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are u a medic fictionkin? /gq sorry im just really confused
there are some questions that science just cant answer-
#putting my longer answer in the tags#which is that 1) ive gotten this question so many times.. im wondering if i should put it in my pinned post at this point#2) its a very long answer but it mostly comes down to 'i have some hypotheses but i dont have enough data'#and 'i havent found a term that perfectly describes my experiences so i dont confirm anything in case it leads people to wrong assumptions'#2.5) no i dont really identify with the term fictionkin for the above reasons but its not Completely inaccurate either#theres just more too it than that#but i dont owe an explanation of my state of being to anyone which leads me to#3) why does it matter?#i am not mad that people keep asking#there is nothing wrong with being curious and i know this is the sort of thing that a lot of people will be curious about#but its also something im in no rush to answer nor do i owe anyone an answer to it#and certainly not until its an answer i am confident about#but i digress#im sure some of my other followers are tired of seeing this question so often too so i will leave it at that#im medic tf2 Real (not as a delusional attachment though i know someone asked about that too)#but beyond that you will just have to use your imagination#grins#alright that is enough rambling#the doc is in
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My thoughts,
I feel like the biggest disconnect with all the discourse going around is that, (mainly twitter) users automatically assume that combining two peoples names is 'shipping' when that's really not why.
!EXPLANATION!
If you were looking for content surrounding 2 certain people but only tagged their names separately you would be getting EVERY single post. Posts that could have other people in it, and not be the two you were looking for (if I were to look for posts about Ian and Anthony, I would trust the Ianthony tag more than just looking through their regular tags, because people tag them in a lot of other Smosh related content)(same thing for Damien and Shayne, if I was looking for them as a duo I would look through the Shaymien tag)(it simply sorts posts better)
They don't seem to grasp the fact that tagging 'Damangela' is because that's how the tagging culture works over here, and not because we're 'shipping' them.
I thought it was common practice, everyone understands in the fandom world that when you combine people's names it's at it's CORE, a 'Duo Name' before ANYTHING ELSE.
I'm just going to automatically assume that most people getting their feathers all ruffled, just haven't been in fandoms spaces as much, AND THAT'S OKAY!!!
But please, if you take anything away from this, most people doing a lot of shipping is young people, so keep that in mind.
#smoshblr#smosh#Damangela#damangela discourse#I try to keep a calm head about things like this#to be totally frank#I've seen more people complaining about damangela “shippers” than actual shippers#the people that I HAVE seen shipping them werent even being that weird about it#maybe a little delusional#but not super weird#(mostly)#I really really dont see anything wrong with people making edits of them and other content#its really kind of sad that because I've seen so many people freaking out about Damangela#that Damien and Angela might have caught wind of all the people on twitter going on a witch hunt about shippers of them#and the ANTI SHIPPERS are actually doing more harm#I have also been seeing a lot of people over here talking about Angela and Damien's separate tags are getting flooded by people posting#about damangela#I would URGE yall to 'filter' out all the tags you dont want! I dont want to be flooding out different communities!!! THAT IS NOT MY INTENT#if I could be tagging things better LMK!#Peace & Love <3
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why are you, as an adult in 2024, still hung up on reylo. why are you still mocking the shippers. why do you believe yourself to be superior only because you dislike a stupid ship from a fucking space fairytale. girl (gnc) get a grip
#it's ridiculous. this ship is... stupidly cliché. like if you know fandoms at all#you could easily guess why people would be into it. hello?? have you tried to watch tfa without your hate-on-kyle-ron goggles?#did you watch their scenes together? you don't have to like something to recognize the hints#hell. at the time i didn't really like jonerys but i realized they were going to be a thing when i read agot in 2011#like folks. it's been nearly TEN LONG YEARS. let it go. LET IT FUCKING GOOOO#and for the lucy/cooper shippers out there who think reylos are (again) delusional when they compare the two ships:#no. *you* are being delusional only because you think reylo is unsexy and uncool (which is your right to think btw. obv)#if you can't see why someone would like both of these pairings for similar reasons... idk what to say honestly#people compared it to hannigram... honestly. again i see why they would appeal to anyone who's into both ships#i really do. but... unpopular opinion (since i'm more of a clannibal fan than i could ever be of reylo):#they are more similar to reylo than will/hannibal. there i said it#i'm not talking about the writing (admittedly the quality of it was questionable). i'm talking about tropes#never mind that imo the ghoul is more akin to vader than kylo but whatever#hannibal is an unapologetic kind of villain. he's not gonna have a redemption arc and that's okay#cooper is an antivillain who used to be a good man and became a disfigured cruel bastard. a parody of himself#lucy is him. him before the bombs dropped before he discovered the person he trusted the most wanted to commit genocide#nice. moral. polite. infused with the Good Old American Values™. he's basically her dark side#all of this is very hannigram/clannibal. i'm not denying it at all#but what'll likely happen is that lucy's actions will have a positive influence on the ghoul and remind him of what it means to be a man#and that's way more reylo-like. sorry.#beauty&thebeast/villain with some hidden good in him+morally righteous heroine/enemies to lovers etc.#i mean. hello??..... having said that. i'm not so much of a reylo shipper anymore and tbh never was. i really liked it at the time#but i was never fond of the st era. my fav characters are vader and leia and revan from the old eu. just saying#*and* it's also not impossible lucy gets darker with the ghoul as her traveling companion. in fact i wouldn't dislike it at all#if done well i mean#but i would still like for people to be intellectually honest and less puerile. god knows i have my notps#but i really don't give a fuck about the shippers. good for them i guess? i have better taste lmao but that's heavily subjective#val rambles in the tags#val speaks#txt
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Was driving all day and reading the anons/answers as we stopped. Genuinely enjoying your takes and also anon's! Love the phrase yaoipilled I can't 😂 it's a very good word for the phenomenae, as it appears in many places, y'know?
yaoi is detrimental to the brain it HAS to be consumed responsibly lest i have to see someone try to assert k|ryu cares more about maj|ma than haruka or daigo again
#snap chats#censoring their names so the kazvmaj| people dont find me. theyre rgg's ve6eta fans to me#or bu|ma fans.. i feel lke bu|ma fans have been more mad at me than ve6eta fans lol..#either way no. the amount. people i see say that. like are you insane. are you blind. delusional.#im being a bonafide hater tonight hang on#because if k|ryu really did care about maj|ma like that he would've never asked him to look after daigo#like that is literally the most blatant example of k|ryu prioritizing daigo over maj|ma MAJ|MA WANTED OUT#AND THEN HE GOT OUT AND THEN K|RYU DRAGGED HIM BACK IN girl i cant.#'snap why do you like k|ryu again' because he's so funny and such an asshole lowkey LMAO anyway. let me cork it there.#before i actually start a fire in my fuckin inbox jesus christ im already on thin ice with these tags
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Define a woman!
I’m gonna rant this here cus this argument keeps returning on the clock app and one day, I’m gonna be stupid and leave a comment in the wrong thread or smthn so I’m just gonna get it out of my system:
“How do you define a ‘woman’?”
Answer for idiots: you can’t.
You cannot possibly make a definition for the term ‘woman’ without excluding someone from the group when they clearly ARE part of the group (even if you’re a piece of shit transphobe and don’t want to include trans women). A woman is someone who has the potential to give birth? You just excluded every child before puberty, every infertile woman and every woman on menopause, next. A woman is someone who has a uterus? You just excluded a bunch of intersex women and all women who had a hysterectomy, next. A woman has a period? Excluded the millions of women who never get their period for various reasons AND all the women who take continuous birth control AND women who are pregnant AND again, little girls and women on menopause. A woman has to have XY chromosomes? Are you gonna check that for every feminine-looking person you’re gonna meet? How? Do you not think women with down syndrome are women?
Decades of feminism working so hard to make sure women are more than their genitals and potential to give birth, all flushed down the drain because you refuse to believe trans women are more than men in wigs? You’re weak as shit.
So answer for people who actually want to use their brain:
Woman is defined through experiences. Which experiences? Entirely up to whoever defines themselves as a woman.
The ‘female experience’ is so broad. You cannot possibly define it in one sentence and stick it on everyone who calls the word ‘woman’ their own.
You feel feminine and empowered by doing your nails? Congrats, that’s the female experience and makes you, therefore, a woman.
You feel feminine and empowered by wearing plaid and splitting wood in two with a giant axe? Congrats! Female Experience. Woman.
You feel feminine in a dress? Woman. You feel feminine in a tux and suit? Woman.
You feel empowered as a mother and love being pregnant? Woman! You despise the idea of being pregnant but find empowerment in your career? Woman! You feel like your period makes you more in tune with your femininity? Woman. You feel like your period makes you less than human and getting a hysterectomy makes you feel more comfortable in your body? Woman.
you love long hair? Woman. You love short hair? Woman.
You love loving men? Woman. You love loving women? Woman. You love both? Woman. You love everyone? Woman. You don’t feel like love is your thing? Woman!
Sitting at home with a good movie and a bottle of wine? That’s a woman. Getting bloody in a game of soccer? That’s very woman! Taking a walk with your dog? How very woman! Going to the gym? Such woman! Eating out with friends? Friend woman. Shooting a gun in the yard from the patio you built yourself? All woman!
Whatever the fuck makes you feel in sync with your femininity is your female experience, and if you have female experience and you like it, you are a W O M A N ✨
Same goes for men and the male experience btw! Since the question “what defines a man” is never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever EVER asked for SOME 👀 reason. (We all know the reason….) Also same goes for my fellow enbies and the non-binary experience. If painting your nails bring you closer to your enbie side, you’re non-binary.
Gender is such a deeply personal experience, it’s just dumb to define it for someone else, let alone the entire human species. It’s like asking to define a chair, like, you KNOW what it is but you can’t possibly define it without excluding some chairs (“has at least 4 legs”, that’s a horse also swivel chairs exist).
Sidenote: If some idiot tiktokker shoves a microphone and a camera in your face and goes “WHAT IS A WOMAN” or “HOW MANY GENDERS ARE THERE” just go along with whatever dumbass scenarios they come up with. “How many genders are there?” “My dude, as many as you want!” “Oh so like 40??” “Yep!” “Can I identify as a helicopter lol?” “Sure, who cares, do it!” “Should I demand everyone at my job calls me a helicopter” “You can go to your local townhouse, request to change your name to ‘helicopter’ and they’ll most likely let you. You’re an adult, you can do whatever you want as long as it’s not hurting others.” “You don’t think it would be dumb of me to do that?” “Why would I care, I don’t know you?”
#Imma get off the clock app for a while again#My fyp is on the wrong side of the argument again#Saw a lot of comments basically boiling down to “you’re delusional and you need to grow up”#Y’all the ones breaking down an entire socio-biological science to just “can u make baby or nah”#And it’s always under videos of enbies with really Out There fashion senses who have Such Trouble talking on the spot#Or who clearly have trouble explaining themselves#And the transphobe eat that shit up like sugar#Cus that’s all we are right#Blue-haired snowflakes who are so confused about our gender experiences that we fumble whenever asked#Like i love y’all fellow enbies with daring fashion but pls be more mean and confident about your identity#“What does that mean being a they/them”#I’m not a woman and I’m also not a man it’s that simple#“Is it that simple?” Yes what are you not understanding do you need me to tell you like a 5 yo?#I’m a brownhaired twink-looking gremlin who dresses like a skater boi who likes musicals and hates make-up and loves books#TRY to define me#Put me in one of your silly little boxes and see what happens#I’m gonna rip the box to shreds until there’s nothing left unless you leave me the fuck alone and let me pee in whichever bathroom i need#I have more pressing matters than worry about you thinking I’m confused but not empathetic enough to wonder why#There’s too much other really bad shit happening in the world for you to wonder if the blue haired young adult deserves to be taken serious
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How’d they react to you calling them bro or dude whilst in a pre-established relationship…(platonic/romantic)
Dick: he’s insulted.
Gutted.
He will try to give you the silent treatment for such a shameful thing but ultimately fails as he ends up being the one pawing at you for attention.
‘Do you still like me? Or did you just run out of cute nicknames to call me?’ He’d say one night as your both cuddling in bed together. ‘If it’s the later then I can help you find something, just please spare me and don’t call me dude or bro anymore.’
He’d rather you call him Richard-wait, no he hates that even more because to him you’re not meant to use his fully name, only cutesy nicknames that’d make a grown man sick to his stomach. Nothing else would suffice other than Dickie bird, handsome, babe, hunk, honeybun or anything that wasn’t his name.
He’s go mad or would act delusional and say that everything was fine when everyone could tell that it wasn’t. People who know him have personally came to you and begged you to stop calling him dude/bro because he kept talking their ears off about how his beloved partner is torturing him, which ends up torturing them even more upon hearing about his relationship issues.
Dick would even consult Hayley on what he did wrong, only for Hayley to look at him with those big, big eyes of hers. This was not her level of expertise unfortunately. (Head empty, no thoughts. She can’t do her abc’s guys it’s a real tragedy.)
Jason: ‘I just had my tongue down your throat just now and you had to go and ruin the mood by calling me bro. What the fuck.’ - Jason at some point.
It’s a whole mood killer for him to be honest.
He’s calling you things like chipmunk or sweetheart but here you were calling him dude and bro. He knows for a fact that he’s well and truly out of the friend zone because the shit you’ve done together isn’t platonic in any sort of way.
Thinks Roy had set you up to call him dude or bro behind his back. (He hasn’t)
Jason is petty and will get his own back by referring you as ‘just a really good friend’, ‘buddy o’ mine’ or even worse than both of those; ‘chum.’ 💀
When you go low, Jason was more then willing to go to the depths of fucking hell to the point it had become a game to see who’d call out just how stupid this all was, and at the both of you for ever thinking that this was an excellent idea in the first place.
You’ll probs get punished…I’m just going to leave it there and let your minds guess what that ‘punishment’ was exactly.
Damian:
As much as Damian hates it when you call him Dami, he hates it when you call him dude or bro even more, if that’s even possible.
Damian hates it when you call him dude or bro. He’s not your dude or bro, he’s your partner and he expects no less then darling, my heart or my beloved.
So you calling him dude or bro is more than enough reason for him to give you the silent treatment.
‘Until you learn that I am your partner, I won’t want to be anywhere near you if you’re going to keep calling me your bro or dude. It is a disservice to who I actually am to you.’ He says with a huff and beckons Titus to follow, only for the Great Dane to be left confused as to why his human parents were at a disagreement over something silly.
Also Titus, Ace, Jerry, Alfred the cat, Goliath and BatCow are children of divorce because I said so.
So it’s bests that you apologise while you still can because Damian can hold a grudge unlike any other. Even if you didn’t, you’d still crack first before Damian and quickly put an end to calling him dude/bro.
He just thinks being called a dude/bro when in a pre-established relationship is an insult.
He can take a joke but not when it’s aimed at his relationship. He’s well and truly devoted to his relationship -if we’re to completely ignore the whole being Robin thing- that it might as well be an insult towards him too at this point.
#dc imagine#dc x reader#dc x you#dc fanfic#dc fic#dc comics x reader#dc x y/n#dc fanfiction#jason todd imagines#jason todd imagine#jason todd x you#jason todd fluff#jason todd x reader#dick grayson x y/n#dick grayson x you#dick grayson imagine#dick grayson imagines#dick grayson x reader#dick grayson fluff#damian wayne x y/n#damian wayne x you#damian wayne imagine#damian wayne x reader#damian wayne imagines#damian wayne fluff#dc fluff#nightwing x y/n#nightwing fluff#nightwing imagines#nightwing x reader
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anyway feeling very normal about this scene
the fact that after a long, unpleasant day of absolutely nothing going his way and constantly being reminded of how much everyone else dislikes him, he's too tired to keep his act up and seeks out a genuine conversation with the one person whom he hasn't interacted with through the entire adventure
Pomni about to answer sincerely before realizing it's Jax and changing her approach, either out of caution or uncertainty by him being so... casual
she braces for one of his usual remarks/jokes but is surprised when he answers with neither, simply letting her know how he's doing as well
finally, when he's called over for another task, he's still visibly annoyed but follows through without much protest and waves goodbye to Pomni, who is undoubtedly confused by what she just saw.
there have been a couple of instances where the series shows us that Jax is being affected by the circus more than he lets on, and they were really focused on during this episode.
this got me thinking about what Goose really meant by him "getting worse"; most people (myself included) interpreted it as his actions gradually escalating to a point where it could result in conflict with the rest of the cast, but after this scene and near the end where he leaves and gets in his car, it could be understood as his repressed emotions finally catching up to him and turning his mental well-being for the worst. It could also be a mix of the two
now this is the part where I put my delusional cap on, but there has been a significant build up to Jax and Pomni's relationship through the whole series, the most notorious one being:
his hand missing from Pomni's moment of realization that the other people she's been trapped with are trustworthy and care for her. You obviously can't blame her for coming to this conclusion, but I think that's exactly what made this small interaction a lot more important
Jax has been pushing others away and masking his emotions for who knows how long, and one of the primary focus and messages of TADC is connections with others and how important they are, so for them to show us Pomni seeing Jax have a brief moment of vulnerability, I do believe it's reasonable to think that they will eventually develop a relationship with some amount of significance, maybe even something close to a friendship
but yeah, feeling very normal
#text post#rambling#the amazing digital circus#jax#pomni#jax x pomni#funnybunny#I ordered the delusional burger that makes you delusional#anyway I want to talk about ep4 more because it's probably my favorite so far#really resonated with me during a lot of moments#but the jaxpom brainrot had to dig it's way through aswell#can't do nothin about it anymore
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Honestly, there’s a lot of instances of the game where Jimmy’s intense rewriting of history really shows how delusional he is. And I don’t think these manifest from guilt, but from a victim-martyr complex: a lot of these are used to make himself look good to the audience, but the utter dissonance between these visions and reality make it terrifying instead.
1. The Birthday Party scene
It seems like something obviously scary, but it’s actually what Jimmy thinks his crew should do. He wants to be celebrated, wants to be admired, and up until he dies is still convinced he was just a well meaning guy who did his best. The party was not a guilt and fear ridden hallucination, but Jimmy deluding himself into thinking he’s the hero. His team should be thanking him and throwing him a party, even when they’re all dead by his own actions. In reality: there probably isn’t even any balloons or confetti, and all Curly sees is Jimmy and the rest of the corpses of the crew sitting at an empty table in a dark room.
2. Curly in the Chair attached to Wheels
The scene where Curly is attached to wheels that must be turned for his organs to sit right so you can feed him his leg is also a good example. This isn’t how bodies work, and Curly is a burn victim, so his internal organs being rearranged makes no actual sense; all of his health issues are external. No, this is what Jimmy thinks must happen; that Curly simply can’t keep down his food, and that all Jimmy needs to do is try harder to get him to eat it. Jimmy, in reality is probably just forcibly feeding Curly his own puked up leg chunk over and over again until Curly grows too tired to fight. And isn’t it like Jimmy to shove a square peg in a round hole and insist it’s the hole’s fault? Jimmy already has shown he’s perfectly fine with force feeding Curly already and is not afraid to get violent when doing so. The reality of that situation is that Curly was probably resisting as much as he physically could, but eventually grows too tired of the abuse and just gives in.
3. Swansea with an axe
And with Swansea, the entire sequence of Swansea chasing him around with an axe may be partially true, but a lot less even-sided in reality. Swansea was shown to have a temper, but killing Daisuke was horribly difficult and emotionally crushing, even if he wouldn’t admit it outright. Jimmy on the other hand clearly views Swansea as an axe wielding maniac who kills without remorse and wants to hoard the cryotank all to himself. I think Jimmy was hallucinating Swansea chasing him around, because I think it would be in character for Jimmy to witness Daisuke’s death at Swansea’s hands and, rather than think over his actions, instead become paranoid and fearful that Swansea would target him, too.
Cus think about it: while Swansea is bigger, he’s also a drunken old man whose grieving the loss of a kid he viewed like his own, while Jimmy is a comparar healthy younger man with a gun. Jimmy already has a track record for picking on those he sees as vulnerable (Anya being the only woman with her room not having a lock, Daisuke being the youngest and easy to influence, and Curly being physically disabled and unable to fight back). What’s more likely: that Swansea suddenly goes from sullen and mournful to an axe wielding maniac gunning for Jimmy’s blood, or that Jimmy is paranoid about an older grieving man and holds him at gunpoint to tie him to the chair?
Feel free to add more examples, this is fascinating
#mouthwashing#mouthwashing jimmy#jimmy mouthwashing#analysis#mouthwashing analysis#swansea mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#they could never make me like you Jimmy
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mother!!!! that recent poly!marauders + lily fic had me WEAK. if you please, could you write a part two where shy!reader finds out remus is a werewolf? I could see rem really not wanting her to find out bc he doesn’t want to scare her, but maybe severus(or somebody) spills the beans thinking she already knew, or she overheard a conversation between the boys. she’d be accepting of course, but remus freaks out when she finds out. just a lot of comfort and reassurance.
hope that gives you some inspiration, also, totally don’t have to write it if you don’t want to, of course!!! ilysm 🖤💚
I took this in a bit of a different direction but the ending's just the same! thanks so much sweets <3 <3
pt 1 // pt 2 // pt 3 // pt 4 // pt 5
4.6k words
poly!marauders + lily x shy!reader who learns about Remus' furry little problem
CW: miscommunication trope, insecurities, angst [with a happy ending], reader is feeling incredibly insecure in this fic, James cries, Sirius cries a little bit too but they all pretend not to notice for his sake
You felt terribly foolish; no, you felt worse. You felt absolutely humiliated and you had no one to blame but yourself.
And now that you were here - ‘here’ being rushing to the dungeons to lock yourself in the Hufflepuff dormitories for the next foreseeable future - you aren’t sure how you had convinced yourself that this was going to end any other way.
It was a pipedream at best, thinking you had any place amongst the infamous Marauders and the princess of Gryffindor, and it was delusional at worst.
Of course they’d grow weary of you, of course they’d find your nerves and anxiety tiresome, of course they’d wind up bored of accommodating you when they were all so much more than you.
What had you been thinking? How did you manage to allow yourself to believe that this was anything but a phase for them - they saw you as a challenge, they beat the challenge, and now they were through with you.
You thought that the sweet looks, the kisses, the affection, the effort all meant more than it obviously did.
At least to them.
To you, it meant the world.
To them, it was a chore.
You were a chore.
Foolish girl.
You had been on your way to the library to meet up with the boys and Lily to study for the upcoming Herbology test. It was the first real group ‘date’ after the sketchiness that usually followed Remus about once a month that no one else seemed inclined to comment on, so neither did you.
Except…except, this time, some lingering tension seemed to follow the bout of sketchiness.
And still, no one seemed particularly inclined to comment on it.
And you couldn’t help but feel like you were out of the loop somehow, but you chalked that up to being a newer addition to the dynamic, and not living with them in Gryffindor tower.
That is until you happened to be walking out of their view behind the stacks of books that their table was situated by when you overheard their conversation.
“You’re going to have to say something to her, Rem. This is getting out of hand.” You heard Lily say solemnly, earning her a pained groan from Remus’ lips, causing you to pause behind the stacks so as to not interrupt their conversation.
“Can’t we just ignore this? Just for a little longer?” Remus bargained. “I mean, it can’t be that bad?”
“It’s worse, Moons.” Sirius corrected.
“Y/N’s so sensitive though.” James added. “I mean, how would that conversation even go? How do you tell her something like that?”
“It has to come from Remus.” Lily stated matter-of-factly.
Remus let out a long-suffering sigh. “And how do you suggest I go about this?”
“Listen.” Sirius asserted. “I don’t bloody care how we tell her, but we have to say something. I cannot keep living like this; it’s exhausting.”
Lily made a tsking sound and placed a consoling hand on Sirius’ shoulder as Remus let out another sigh.
“I know, I know; I’m sorry you guys. I thought we could ignore it but…I don’t think we can anymore.”
Lily, Sirius, and James all made a hum of acknowledgement.
“I think we ought to just rip the bandaid off and hope she understands.” Lily said.
You felt your stomach migrate to your throat as you turned on your heels and fled the library.
Is that what all the tension was about? Is that what this library study date was? Just a ruse to sit you down so they could break up with you?
Of course it was, idiot. You scolded yourself. They were foolish to entertain the likes of you for any amount of time.
So now you were here - ‘here’ being rushing to the dungeons to lock yourself in the Hufflepuff dormitories for the next foreseeable future - and you aren’t sure how you had convinced yourself that this was going to end any other way.
“Do you think I should do it tonight?” Remus asked Lily as she finally sat down.
“I think it would be best if we did, sweetheart. I just can’t help feeling like we’re keeping her at arms length by keeping it a secret, you know?”
“I agree.” Sirius said quickly. “It feels like she’s more of a guest than actually part of the relationship whilst we’re keeping something so big from her.”
“I just don’t want her to hate me.” Remus admitted in a whisper.
“Remmy.” James cooed from the other side of Sirius. “Our sweet little Puffle seems completely incapable of hatred. But you know we’ve got your back 110% if she’s not accepting of you, right?”
The other two nodded in agreement but Remus only grimaced. “It just feels like I’d be ruining the relationship for all of you if the only person she has a problem with is me.”
“Impossible.” Sirius replied emphatically. “Anyone who has a problem with you has a problem with us, Moons.”
“Even if we weren’t dating, Rem, if someone didn’t respect my friend - or anyone, for that matter - because of their lycanthropy, I wouldn’t want them around anyways.” Lily agreed.
“I don’t think we’ll have a problem, though.” Sirius continued. “Like Prongs said, she’s our sweet girl; I’m sure she’ll handle this fine.”
“Where is she, anyway?” James said, flipping his wrist to check his watch. “She was supposed to meet us like twenty minutes ago.”
The other three shared a look of bemusement.
“Do you have the map?” Sirius asked.
James quickly pulled the map from his book bag to scan the parchment for your name. “It says she’s in the Hufflepuff common room?”
“Maybe she forgot?” Lily mused.
“I spoke to her at dinner; she said she was going to change out of her uniform and then meet us here.” Remus replied, feeling his heart rise to his throat with nerves.
What if she knew? What if she already found out? What if she hated him?
“Rem, it’s alright.” Lily placated, clearly seeing his concern etched onto his face. “Maybe she wasn’t feeling well, or got caught up with something else.”
“She’s never bailed on us before…” James admitted, looking just as worried as Remus was. “Maybe we should check on her?”
“Why don’t we give her tonight; I think after all the shite we put her through this week, she’s allotted one missed date.” Sirius decided, opting to keep his tone light as he teased Remus for his ‘pre-moon angstiness’ as his partners call it.
“We’ll catch up with her tomorrow.” Lily decided; and Remus and James shared a look of concern as they relented to study for the upcoming Herbology test without you.
You weren’t really mad at the Gryffindor’s for their decision to end things with you; at least not at first.
People were allowed to change their minds, and you supposed that was the purpose of dating, right? To see if the person you’re interested in is someone you want to keep around indefinitely?
So, people were allowed to change their mind, and that was okay.
You also couldn’t particularly blame them; you were shy, quiet, timid, awkward in most social settings and certainly not as adventurous as them, it was only a matter of time before they grew bored of you.
So you hadn’t been mad at them, not at first.
But you were growing increasingly annoyed at their attempts to force themselves within your space.
You had opted to sit at the Hufflepuff table for breakfast the next morning; there was no sense sitting at the Gryffindor table with them anymore.
But then you couldn’t handle the feeling of your heart splintering every time you heard Sirius’ bark of laughter or Lily’s giggle at something Remus said or that James did. So you quickly scarfed down your toast and grabbed a muffin to shove in your bag before fleeing from the Great Hall.
What you didn’t notice was James noticing you only as you were leaving, looking incredibly worried.
You nearly shrieked when you exited your Astronomy class that you had with the Ravenclaws and slammed into Sirius’ frame.
“There you are, dolly! We missed you this morning!” He proclaimed as he pressed a kiss to your cheek.
You quickly collected yourself; heart racing from the scare and then quickly migrating to your throat out of embarrassment and hurt at this familiarity you had with him only to be about to lose it.
“Sorry, I had been running late.” You said quickly as you headed for the stairs; the long-haired boy quickly keeping up with your steps.
“Were you feeling alright?” He asked you.
“How do you mean?”
Sirius tilted his head slightly as he considered you. “Well, you didn’t show up to the library last night, and then you were running late this morning; that’s not like you.”
A hot frustrated emotion burned in your chest that you weren’t completely accustomed to feeling.
Wasn’t he the one to say he couldn’t live like this anymore?
It wasn’t fair of you to be frustrated though, which frustrated you even more; he didn’t know that you had shown up to the library last night, nor that you had gotten to the Great Hall on time.
They hadn’t even noticed you this morning.
And that’s why they were ending things; you were forgettable, ignorable, unnoticeable.
“I’m fine, Sirius. Thank you.” You said simply, and quickly headed for the girl’s loo in order to shake him off.
Remus had approached you in Care of Magical Creatures as well, which somehow hurt more.
Perhaps it was because you knew he was going to be the one to tell you that things were over; though you had thought he’d be better than to break up with you in the middle of class.
“Hey, dove.” He said as he gently nudged your arm with his elbow; watching as you groomed the puffskein on your table.
“Hey, Remus.” You said quietly, not removing your eyes from the Beast you were working with.
“I missed you last night.” He admitted quietly.
Did you? You thought petulantly.
“Sorry.” You murmured instead.
“You don’t have to be sorry.” He said as he leaned his elbows on your workbench; if it had been any other student, you’re certain Professor O’Brien would have scolded him for not handling the beasts with adequate caution, but Remus seemed to be allowed certain privileges and the puffskein “Kujo” didn’t seem to mind him much. “I just missed you is all.”
And he was smiling that sweet, soft smile at you and he seemed like he actually meant it which only further contributed to your ire.
What happened to ripping the bandaid off? Why keep up this affectionate act if it was only going to end?
Remus looked like he was going to say something when the Professor announced the end of class.
“I’ll catch up with you later.” You offered quickly before you all but threw Kujo back into his pen and took off towards the castle.
The final straw had to be Herbology, though.
You shared Herbology with the Gryffindors, and because you were a new addition - your the four Gryffindor’s all shared a potting bench whilst you worked alongside another Hufflepuff.
Today, however, it appeared that James had other plans.
Before Sadie-Jane could take her seat beside you, James had plopped himself - rather carefully for the notoriously boisterous quidditch chaser, mind you - on the stool beside you.
“Hey, angel.”
Again, with the pet names.
It felt torturous at this point; part of you wanted to rip the bandaid off yourself.
But you looked over at the sweet, warm, inviting face of James Potter and any resolve to tell him to shove it completely dissipated. He was all messy curls, round frames, and warm eyes.
And you might have been [must have been] mistaken, but you felt you could see anxiety and worry painted in his features.
You supposed breaking up with someone could do that to a person, though.
“Hi Jamie.” You whispered back as you opted to ready your supplies for today’s lesson.
“I was wondering if you were going to come to the game tonight?” He blurted then, looking slightly embarrassed at his outburst.
Right…the game. The game against Slytherin. The game that would have you sitting between Remus and Lily as they cheered for James and Sirius. That game.
“I...uhm, well…”
Rip the bandaid off.
But it was James.
And you were in class.
And you could see Lily and Remus trying - and failing - to not look like they were watching you and James whilst Sirius had no such qualms and was actively staring at the two of you.
“Yeah, I’ll…I’ll see.” You offered James, mustering up what you hoped was a convincing enough smile.
You could tell by the divot that appeared in James’ brows that you were not convincing in the slightest.
Thankfully Professor Sprout appeared then, instructing everyone to take their seats for class to begin, and Sadie-Jane came to claim her seat from the Gryffindor.
You didn’t go to the game that night.
Gryffindor lost.
And though you didn’t know at the time, James cried, but it wasn’t about losing to Slytherin.
“So, why are you hiding in the dorms?” Caroline asked as she rolled away from her open magazine on her bed, clearly preferring potential drama you could offer her than whatever was in this week's Witch Weekly.
“I’m not hiding.” You muttered back, not looking up from your cross-stitch you were working on instead of, you know, dealing with your problems.
“Right.” Caroline agreed, not sounding like she agreed with you at all. “That’s why you’ve started and quit several hobbies over the weekend and have been going to the kitchen’s to grab food instead of eating in the Great Hall like a normal person.”
You looked over at your half finished gem ‘paint-by-numbers’, the scarf you’d crocheted that looked more like the skin of a messed up snake that had a terrible time shedding, and the guitar you had borrowed from Fenwick and nearly broke in a fit of rage when you couldn’t get it to sound the way you wanted it too.
“I just…can’t face them right now.” You admitted dejectedly.
“I don’t blame you. Helga, have you seen the lot of them? If I’d known they were accepting more I would have made my shot.” She mused as she laid back on her bed.
Grief and jealousy intertwined within you as you thought about them dating anyone else but you.
But you supposed that was their prerogative; they were allowed to change their minds.
“Yeah well, you may still have a chance.” You muttered, capturing Caroline’s attention.
“What?” She asked quickly, but you didn’t have a chance to answer before there was a knock on the door.
“Were you expecting anyone?” She asked with a salacious wink, causing you to glare at her.
“If it’s them, I’m not here; please.” You practically begged your roommate as she rolled her eyes and moved to the door to your dorm room.
“Oh, hello Evans.” Caroline greeted, causing you to scrunch your eyes closed from your place currently hidden from view of the door.
“Hi! Erm, is Y/N around?” Lily asked, sounding uncharacteristically awkward.
“Uh…no, she’s not in right now. I can let her know you stopped by, though?” Caroline offered.
You heard Lily thank her before Caroline closed the door again.
“You sure you don’t want them? ‘Cause those Gryffindor’s are fine.” She sighed as she returned to her bed.
She let out a squawk when your pillow made contact with her head.
Lily stepped out through the barrel to find Sirius and Remus exactly where she had left them (albeit far more tense) as James came running from down the hall where he had been pacing nervously.
“Well?” James asked.
Lily pursed her lips. “Her roommate said she wasn’t there.”
Remus looked down at the map to the place where your name was etched beside your roommate’s in the seventh year Hufflepuff girls’ dormitory.
Either the map was faulty [fat chance], or you were avoiding them.
It was official.
For whatever reason, they were losing you.
You had somehow managed to avoid the Gryffindor’s all Monday; taking a moment to thank every deity that you only had Divination with the Gryffindor house, and none of your Gryffindor’s had opted to take it.
You wondered if you could call them your Gryffindor’s anymore…
You had run over to the kitchens - all but a hop skip and a jump from your common room - to grab dinner and were stepping back out through the portrait of the pears when you came face to face with Sirius.
“So nice to see you, Y/N; I’d almost forgotten what your face looked like.” He said; his tone taking on a harsh tone you weren’t accustomed to hearing directed at you causing you to wince.
“Pads…” Remus warned from behind him, though he was looking at you just as warily as Sirius was.
As was James and Lily.
Shit.
“I’m glad to see you’re still eating…” Remus commented dejectedly as he nodded towards your smorgasbord of a plate that Winky had helped prepare for you that now looked horribly unappetising.
“I…yes. Erm, what are you guys doing here?” You tried.
It had, apparently, been the wrong thing to say.
Sirius let out a derisive scoff. “Cut the bullshit, Y/N. What the hell has gotten into you?”
“Sirius.” Lily warned.
“Would you guys stop?” He barked back at them before returning his burning gaze back to you. “I’m tired of this; of running around the school looking for you, of being disappointed every time you bail on us, of having to hold James whilst he cries because you’ve let him down, of being lied to. So I’m going to ask again - what the hell has gotten into you?”
“Nothing has gotten into me…” You tried to argue, though it sounded feeble even to your own ears.
James had cried? You made James cry…
The disappointment in Remus’ eyes, the concern in Lily’s, the anger in Sirius’, the sadness in James’... it was too much, too much, too much.
“You’re going to stand there and lie to my sodding face?” Sirius asked incredulously.
“Sirius, stop it.” James ordered; his voice far more severe than you have ever heard from him. “Angel, please. Just…just tell us what’s wrong. Tell me what I can do to fix this.”
Any sadness that had settled in your chest bubbled into anger at his word choice.
“Fix this?” You repeated back to him. “Why? Why bother fixing anything if you’re all just going to leave me!?”
The four Gryffindor’s stood staring at you with different levels of bemusement; Lily and Sirius at your words, Remus and James at you having raised your voice for the first time…well…ever.
“What do you mean ‘leave you’?” Lily asked cautiously, causing you to scoff.
“I heard you guys - in the library.”
“In the library? But…you never showed?” James asked.
“Yes, I did - and I heard you guys talking about me, so I decided to stay out of your way thinking that maybe I’d make it easier on you all. But then you’ve spent the past week absolutely torturing me; showing up at my classes, trying to sit beside me, showing up to my dorm room like you weren’t just biding your time.”
“Y/N, what exactly did you hear us say in the library?” Remus queried.
“That you couldn’t do this anymore! That someone ‘had to tell me’ because it was ‘getting out of hand’. That you couldn’t possibly live like this anymore and hopefully I’d just understand. And I do! I do understand; but what I don’t understand is what the point of chasing me around the bloody castle is if you-”
“Whoa, whoa. Okay, alright just breathe, darling, I’m sorry.” Lily attempted to placate, holding her hands up as she approached like you were some kind of feral cat.
You sort of acted like one when you swatted her hands away from you.
“No! No, it’s not fair! I’m sorry if I’m too much, or if I’m not enough; I get it, okay? I do; sometimes it doesn’t work out and that’s fair but if that’s how you feel then just leave me alone!” You shouted back, feeling the tears trailing down your neck at this point.
“Y/N, please, listen okay? Just relax and we can talk this out.” Lily tried again as James let out a pained breath that sounded awfully close to a sob.
“Remus, please.” He begged, turning his pooling hazel eyes to his scarred boyfriend who was looking at you in abject horror. “Please.”
“Y/N, you’ve misunderstood, dove. I-I’m sorry, It’s my fault, but what you heard…that wasn’t us talking about breaking up with you. I… It was about me.”
You wiped angrily at your face and set your now cold plate on the ground - you weren’t hungry anymore anyways. “It’s not you, it’s me?” You sneered half-heartedly.
“No, no…Merlin, Y/N I- I’m a werewolf. Okay? I have lycanthropy, I was bitten when I was four; that’s where I go once a month and why I get…weird. We were talking about the fact that I needed to tell you because it was hurting us to keep it from you. Dovey, I’m so sorry you’ve been so upset. Please, please take a breath for me.”
You held your hands over your eyes as you tried to control your breathing.
Sketchiness…tension…disappearances…
“You’re going to have to say something to her, Rem; this is getting out of hand”
“Can’t we just ignore this? Just for a little longer? I mean, it can’t be that bad?”
“Y/N’s so sensitive though… How do you tell her something like that?”
“It has to come from Remus.”
“I don’t bloody care how we tell her, but we have to say something; I cannot keep living like this, it’s exhausting.”
“I’m sorry you guys. I thought we could ignore it but…I don’t think we can anymore.”
“I think we ought to just rip the bandaid off and hope she understands.”
“I’m a werewolf. I have lycanthropy…that’s where I go once a month.”
“Please…baby, please say something. I-I’m so sorry.” You heard Sirius plead quietly; his shaky voice in stark contrast from the way he’d been barking at you just moments before.
You pulled your wet hands away from your eyes to see all four of them looking at you with nothing but worry and heartache on their faces; though none looked quite as vulnerable as Remus did.
“I’m sorry, Y/N.” He whispered.
You sucked in a shuddering breath as more tears fell. “So…you don’t hate me?”
Remus let out a disbelieving laugh when you heard what sounded suspiciously like a sob from James.
“No! No, no dove, that- I’m rather quite in love with you, you know?” He pressed, daring to step closer to you. “Do you hate me?” He asked then, tone turning vulnerable once more.
“No.” You whined emphatically.
“Oh my poor girl.” Sirius whined sympathetically.
“Can I hug you? Please?” James all but begged, stepping in front of you with his arms open already; poised for you to say…
“Yes.”
You’re not sure he even waited for the affirmation to leave your lips before he had you encased in his arms.
You shoved your face into his chest and fisted his shirt in your hands; pulling him as close as you possibly could to your person.
You weren’t sure how long you’d been standing there - directly in front of the kitchens and awfully close to your own common room - sniffling into James’ shirt as he sniffled into your hair, but you heard a sniffle come from beside you.
You turned to see Sirius’ grey eyes shiny and red as he looked at you imploringly.
“I’m so sorry I yelled at you, sweetness. I’m such an arse I just…I-”
“It’s okay.” You whispered.
“No it’s not.” Sirius argued immediately. “I…I get like that sometimes; just horribly defensive and then I go on the offensive first. I didn’t even give you a chance to talk to us before I was attacking you; I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay, Siri.” You offered again, holding a hand out to him which he took readily.
“I can’t believe you’ve spent this whole week believing we wanted nothing to do with you.” Lily whined from your other side. “I’m so sorry we left you feeling like that, darling girl.”
Though you were quite content in your muscled hideaway, you pulled away from James’ chest to wipe at your face again, feeling awfully self-conscious of how blotchy your face must look from your tears.
“I shouldn’t have assumed.” You admitted shamefully; voice scratchy from both the shouting and the crying.
“The way you described it, I can understand how our conversation sounded to you, babygirl.” Sirius contended.
“So…you’re really not leaving me?” You asked again.
“I feel like I should be asking you that, dove.” Remus replied.
“Why would I be leaving you?”
Lily shared a knowing look with Sirius and James who in turn moved their gazes to Remus with expressions reading “see?”.
“Not everyone would be accepting of a werewolf.”
You felt your eyebrows furrow as you looked at the others as if saying “are you hearing this right now?”
“But…I love you? I…I don’t even know what else to say…I just… love you so, that’s fine.”
“I just love you so that’s fine.” Sirius repeated as he looked at Remus arrogantly. “I knew I should have placed a bet on how she’d respond; I’d have made five galleons!”
“We were not going to bet on how our girlfriend would respond to Remus’ furry little problem, Sirius.” Lily chided as she playfully swatted at his shoulder.
“Besides,” James added, pulling you closer into his side again. “You would have lost because I don’t think any of us would have bet that she’d misinterpret our disastrous conversation as us trying to leave her and then spend the week believing we were waiting for the perfect time to break up with her only for us all to shout and cry when we realised what happened.”
“No, that's true.” Sirius agreed readily, looking back at you with sympathy. “I really am sorry, baby.”
“Me too.” Lily continued.
“Me most of all.” Remus added.
“I knew we should have gone looking for her that night.” James mused aloud mostly to himself. “Could have saved us all a lot of heartache.”
“Yeah, yeah Prongs. You’re right again; I’m sure we’ll never live it down.” Sirius said with a playful eye roll.
“How can we make it up to you?” Lily asked as she placed her hand at the juncture of your neck and shoulder and traced shapes along the column of your neck with her thumb.
You shook your head shyly and looked at your feet. “It’s not necessary guys.”
“Nonsense.” Sirius scoffed.
“Let’s start with some dinner, yeah? And maybe a cwtch in the boys’ dorm upstairs?” Remus offered to the group, though he seemed to be waiting for you to answer.
You nodded at him and he opened his arms in invitation which you accepted readily.
“I’m sorry, dovey.” He whispered into your hair.
“I’m sorry too, Rem.”
“Let’s never fight again.” James decided enthusiastically as Lily and Sirius stepped through the pear portrait into the kitchens.
“Sounds good to me, bubs.” Remus agreed as he bent down to press a kiss to James’ lips whilst keeping you secured to his side.
You were sure that after this week, these four wouldn’t be letting you out of their reach.
After this week, you weren’t sure you minded that at all.
#marauders era#marauders au#marauders fanfiction#reader insert#self insert#sirius black#remus lupin#james potter#lily evans#poly!marauders#poly!marauders + lily#poly!marauders fluff#poly!marauders imagine#poly!marauders x reader#poly!marauders x you#poly!marauders + lily x reader#poly!marauders + lily x you#sirius black x reader#sirius black x you#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin x you#james potter x reader#james potter x you#lily evans x you#lily evans x reader#lily evans x fem!reader#ellecdc fics
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Title: Love and Care.
Pairing: Yandere!Clark Kent x Reader (DC).
Word Count: 4.0k.
Commissioned by the very lovely @distortedhumor.
TW: Non/Con, AFAB!Reader, Prolonged Captivity + Kidnapping, Spanking, Psychological/Physical Abuse, Slight Infantilization, and Delusional Behavior.
You were going to freeze to death.
That was – if you didn’t die of dehydration, first. You really weren’t sure which was supposed to work faster; thirst or exposure, the acidic dryness crawling up the back of your throat or the slow, numbing chill spreading up from your toes, your fingertips. You didn’t have to worry about hunger – even if you could feel something sharp and hollow gnawing at the pit of your stomach. You remembered reading somewhere that it took longer than a month for someone to starve to death, even if it was hard to believe that when it felt like you were on the verge of collapsing into yourself.
It wasn’t that you hadn’t been prepared. Admittedly, it’d been an impulsive thing to do, the half-baked result of a door left unlocked and the daunting awareness that you had at least twelve hours before you so much as heard from Clark again, if not the full twenty-four. You didn’t have shoes more durable than house-slippers and the delicate, lovingly polished, Mary Jane heels he liked to see you in, but you’d put on your thickest dress, stuffed a bottle of water and a few slices of homemade bread into knapsack, and started walking into the lifeless, rolling plains that surrounded the rustic farmhouse he kept you in. You didn’t run – he always seemed to know if your heart rate spiked– but you had all day to walk until you found a road, or a phone booth, or anything else that could at least remind you that other people existed. You figured you’d come across something eventually, even if you couldn’t find the help you were looking for.
Except, you’d underestimated just how cold the countryside could get in autumn, and you hadn’t thought to ration your meager supplies until after they’d already run out, and as far as you could tell, he’d found the most vacant, lifeless, desolate corner of the world to trap you within. The hem of your skirt was caked with mud and dust, your knapsack had been left behind entirely after you realized there was no point in carrying and empty bag, and one of your heels had broken off about two miles back – leaving you reduced to a slow, hobbling limp. Your body was exhausted beyond exhaustion, but you couldn’t imagine a world where you stopped walking. The only thing worse than knowing you were going to freeze to death in the middle of nowhere would be knowing that you’d just laid down and accepted it, and if you’d been willing to do that, you wouldn’t have run away at—
Your foot caught on a dense patch of undergrowth, and too tired to catch yourself, you crumpled – your knees hitting the earth with enough force to make you whimper. The last of your perseverance crashed and shattered as soon as you hit the ground, and before you could so much as try to stand up, you fell apart completely. You felt the tears before you realized you were crying – just one, at first, then another, then more than you could ever hope to count. You threw your head forward, sniffling miserably as you collapsed onto your side. You were going to die out here, but…
But, that was probably for the best, wasn’t it? It was either die out here, or die in that lonely farmhouse when Clark finally lost his temper or the roof collapsed or the ‘villains’ he was also so worried about finally did their job and put you out of your fucking misery. With a full-fledged sob, you curled into yourself and clenched your eyes shut, and—
And of course, less than a full second later, you felt a pair of muscle-bound arms your crumpled form, sweeping you off the ground and dragging you into a broad chest. You were too weak to meaningfully resist, but still, you tried to writhe and nudge yourself out of his iron-clad hold to little success. He was already talking, too. Great. On the ranked list of things you might’ve wanted to hear immediately after accepting your own mortality, your kidnapper’s nervous babbling didn’t crack the top hundred.
As if that had ever stopped him before.
“—and I thought you’d gotten hurt, and your pulse sounded so far away, and— and I don’t know what I would’ve done if it’d taken me any longer to find you.” You tuned in mid-rambling, trying to swallow your agitation. He was bent over you, his face buried in your hair, giving his voice an unsteady, muffled quality. For the world’s strongest man, he was quick to fall apart whenever he thought you so much as might be in danger. You couldn’t really judge him for that, though. You fell apart whenever he wasn’t around, too, and you didn’t care about him at all. “Are you alright? Are you hurt? There’s a hospital about fifty miles away, I can—”
“I’m fine,” you cut in, your hands shoving at his forearm where it was barred over your waist. With an airy sigh, he repositioned you – letting you fall into a proper bridal-carry rather a fully-body tackle. You noticed, for the first time, that his feet weren’t touching the ground. He was levitating, a nervous habit that that back into too often to keep track of. He must’ve genuinely thought you were in danger. More importantly, he must’ve known there was no one around to see him doing something so obviously superhuman. “Just a little cold. I‘m sorry for worrying you.”
Another sigh, this one more genuine than the last. For the first time, he drew back, and you were able to see him properly. He must’ve come straight from Metropolis; he was still wearing the suit you’d seen him in that morning, his hair slightly disheveled and his glasses shoved haphazardly into his shirt pocket. You tried to breathe, not to be thankful for how quickly his inhuman warmth was ebbing away the harsher edges of your hypothermia, and for the most part, you succeeded. You felt his lips brush against your cheek, then the corner of your jaw – Clark as affectionate as he was paranoid. “Poor thing,” he muttered, haphazardly shrugging off the jacket of his suit and draping it over your shoulders. “We’ll have to get you warmed up once we get home.”
Despite yourself, you stiffened. It was over - you knew that. He caught you, and even if he hadn’t, you wouldn’t have been able to go on much longer. You knew that.
And yet, you held yourself that much tighter as you asked, “…do we have to go home right away?”
Clark’s smile softened; his expression slackening is a patronizingly sympathetic sort of way. He didn’t need to answer, not really, but you still cringed when he inevitably did. “Of course, dear.” And then, with another kiss to your forehead. “How else can I keep you safe?”
You might’ve been nicer than him, after all. Rather than respond, you bowed your head and tucked yourself against his chest, shutting your eyes and blocking him out entirely. Clark only hummed in acknowledgement, flying that much higher and taking you home.
~
It took an embarrassingly short time to reach the farmhouse – less than a full minute, if that. It wasn’t what you deserved, but it was what you needed: a reminder that you were trying to run away from someone who didn’t have to run at all to keep up with you. Trying to escape on your own was pointless. You’d either have to find another way to get away from him or give up entirely.
Despite your constant squirming, Clark only put you down once you were inside (meaning, once the front door was locked and deadbolted with you securely trapped behind it), and you stumbled to your feet, still on the verge of collapsing. He let you struggle through all of two steps before taking you by the hand and, with that award-winning smile, guiding you through the farmhouse. “A warm bath should do the trick. Some tea, too – or coffee, to keep your blood flowing.” His eyes flickered down to the mud-caked hem of your dress, your ruined shoes. “It’s a pity. I know that’s one of your favorites.” He paused, squeezed your hand. “We’ll have to pick out another together. Maybe tomorrow, before I leave for work.”
You bit the side of your tongue, nodding along absently and letting him ramble. When you passed the staircase leading to the second floor, to your bedroom, you started to move towards it, but Clark only continued further into the house.
“Uh, Clark?” You dragged your feet as he pulled you into the kitchen. “I— Um, tea sounds nice, but I’d really like to change, first, and—”
“In a few minutes.” Another infuriating smile, another squeeze to your hand. “Do you remember what happens when you break one of our rules?”
You felt something in your throat tighten. You’d managed to forget, but it came back quickly enough. “I do, but— I was out there for a few hours, and I can’t really feel my—”
“We’ll take care of that in a few minutes, love.” He was already moving towards the kitchen table, your hand still trapped in his. “We should get this over with now.”
Trying to argue would’ve been useless. You did your best to grit your teeth, to brace yourself, but your vision still blurred as he finally released you, settling into one of the simple wooden chairs. You crossed your arms over your chest, but it did little to put a barrier between you and his prying gaze. “Do you want to undress yourself? Or, do you need my help?”
Shaking your head, you fumbled with the buttons lining the back of your dress. Usually, you could manage on your own, but your hands were still numb, and you were fighting back tears, and Clark only watched you struggle for a few seconds before motioning for you to come closer. Soon enough, cotton and lace pooled uselessly at your feet, leaving you all-but entirely exposed in front of him. You didn’t need to be told to take off your shoes, kicking them into the depressing pile of fabric that used to be your favorite dress, but when it came to your panties, you hesitated, glancing toward Clark with a pleading look. “All of it,” he confirmed, with a tone bordering on apologetic. “It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”
As if that would make you feel any better.
You sucked in a deep breath, then eased your panties down to your ankles. You’d been wearing one of your nicer pairs – white and silken, with a lace trim around the edges and a ribbon bow that was just slightly too big to be entirely inconspicuous. They were one of Clark’s favorites, even if you doubted you’d ever hear him admit something crude out loud. You could only hope you’d never see them again.
You kept your eyes on the floor as he took you by the waist and with as much effort as it might’ve taken to move a doll from one shelf to another, lifted you up and laid you over his lap. His thighs bit into your stomach as a hand found its way to the small of your back, rubbing slow circles into the base of your spine. “We’re only going to do fifteen, alright?” It wasn’t really a question, so you didn’t bother pretending you were going to answer. Clark didn’t seem to need you to. “And you know I’m doing this because I love you, right?”
That, you couldn’t get out of so easily.
“I know,” you mumbled, because that was what would upset him the least. “That doesn’t make it hurt any less, though.”
He didn’t make a sound. You wondered if he’d heard you at all, at least until the flat of his palm came down on the plush of your ass and immediately, it was impossible to think about anything at all.
It was a small mercy that he didn’t make you count. It was something he’d tried early on, the first couple of times you‘d thrown a chair through a window or stolen his phone or hoarded weapons underneath the mattress of your shared bed, but you’d never really been able to hold yourself together long enough for anything like that. You broke down too quickly, too easily – fuck, you were breaking down right now and he’d only hit you once. You could already feel tears pricking at the corners of your eyes, a knot welling up in the back of your throat that only seemed to let little, pitiful whimpers and miserable sobs slip by. You tried to steel yourself, to bite back any signs of weakness, but that only meant you’d forgotten to brace yourself for the second strike – just as bad as the first, centered more towards the back of your thigh than your ass. He was trying to spread the pain, to make sure any marks he left wouldn’t be permanent. He was trying to be gentle.
It was scarier than it should’ve been – knowing that he really did care about you. You couldn’t call it ‘love’, not really, not if you still wanted to be able to live with yourself, but he had to care about you, at least enough to pay some amount of mind to your well-being, at least enough for you to be sure he didn’t hate you (although, some days, you could still be convinced otherwise). He didn’t love you, but he thought he did, and the fact that he could earnestly believe he loved you and still treat you like this made you very, very afraid of what could happen if he ever changed his mind.
By the third strike, you were crying unabashedly, and by the sixth, your hands were clamped around his thigh, your nails biting into his skin in less of an attempt to hurt him and more of a desperate scramble for any kind of stability he had to offer. It was all force, no friction – a bruising, throbbing type of pain quickly spreading outward from every part of your body unfortunate enough to be under his palm. You couldn’t seem to talk, but Clark didn’t have an issue, pausing after every blow to rub circles into your bruised skin and mutter to himself. You couldn’t imagine he still thought he was talking to you. “I just worry about how you’d manage things, out there, all on your own,” he explained, his tone cloyingly sweet. Like he was talking to a child, too naïve to know any better. Like he could still expect you to believe there was anything in the world more dangerous than him. “You know I’ll always keep you safe, but I can’t be everywhere at once. It’s easier for both of us if you just—” A pause, an airy chuckle. “—if you just stay out of trouble.”
You’d lived in the city for years and never gotten into trouble, not before meeting him. Saying that felt pointless, though, especially when he was already moving onto the seventh.
Fifteen was a terrible number. If there’d been twenty or more, you might’ve been able to go numb by the time he finished, and ten or less would’ve given you a chance to preserve at least some of your dignity. At fifteen, though, the pain was still intense enough to be blistering, and you couldn’t seem to choke down your own keening sobs as Clark brought down his hand for the final blow – using just a little more force than he really had to, making sure the lesson would stick for the next couple of days, if not the next couple of weeks. He was strict, like that, despite how tender-hearted he pretended to be. If he wasn’t, you would’ve acted out more often.
You had to believe you’d act out more often.
You were still limp and crying when his arm wrapped around your waist and with a raspy, adoring sound, he sat you up – letting you straddle one of his thighs. Whatever relief you might’ve felt at the end of your punishment was immediately overshadowed by the pale, reddish tint spread visibly across his face, the feeling of something too large and too stiff pressing into your leg where it fell between his. Clark didn’t acknowledge it, though, and you were happy to follow his lead, melting into his hands as he cupped your face, basking in his happily provided comfort. There was a shallow exhale as he tilted your head back, pressing another lingering kiss into your forehead, before dipping lower – falling immediately to your neck. You let his lips make contact with your throat before sniffling and shifting in his lap. “Hurts, Clark,” you murmured, doing your best to make your voice that of something small and in need. “It’s not that I don’t want to, but… can we go upstairs, first?”
That was enough to snap him out of it. “Right. Of course.” There was one last peck to your collarbone before he pulled you into his arms, any thought of letting you walk on your own prematurely dismissed. You tried to go blank as he trailed through the farmhouse, not to focus on anything but the pain and your exhaustion, but your gaze seemed to catch on everything you didn’t want to see – the bowl of dough still rising on the kitchen counter, the torn dress-shirt you’d planned on mending today, a dozen tiny things that all drove their own little needles into the pit of your stomach. In Clark’s defense, the housewife shtick hadn’t been his idea, but you couldn’t say he was entirely blameless, either. When you were left trapped and alone, given nothing to do and no way to occupy your time, there was only so long you could last before resorting to household chores. It was just a happy coincidence that the byproducts of your captivity were practically identical to the kind of sugar-sweet, domestic behavior that’d always seemed to melt his heart, back when your relationship wasn’t so insidious.
At least the bathroom was warm. Still too unsteady to be trusted to walk on your own, you sat on the vanity while Clark ran a bath, staring at your hands absentmindedly as the steam started to ebb at the chill. When the tub was nearly full, he helped you into it, more than happy to make it seem like you couldn’t so much as move without his help – which, in his defense, you really couldn’t. As you sunk into the scorching water, you made a mental note not to let him touch you at all tomorrow. You doubted it would be enough to fix the damage tonight had done, but it’d be better than letting him coddle you half-to-death.
Surprisingly, Clark didn’t hover over you for very long. “I think I promised you something to drink,” he explained as he moved to the doorway, his smile suddenly sheepish. Like he had any right to be shy about what he’d done to you. “I’ll be back in a second – unless you think you’ll need a hand?”
You hesitated, but shook your head. “’m fine. I just need some time to think.”
“Not too long.” He glanced over his shoulder, his eyes prying into you for a second, then another before he turned away. “I think we should be careful about what gets into your pretty little head, for the next few days.”
And just like that, you were left alone. For the first time since he’d brought you home, you let yourself relax. The hot water momentarily dulled the pain, but without the agony to distract you, humiliation quickly took its place. You shouldn’t have let Clark take you back so easily – that only gave him more leeway to treat you like some naïve, fragile object he’d been tasked with looking after. You shouldn’t have taken your punishment so quietly, even if you doubted clawing at his legs and thrashing would’ve actually accomplished anything beyond salvaging your pride. You shouldn’t have run away at all, not if it meant triggering Clark’s paranoia, not if it reminded Clark that you’d still take any chance you saw to get away from him. You’d have to be smarter about it, if you ever to escape tried again.
(You did your best to ignore that, a few months about, the same sentiment would’ve been followed by ‘when you inevitably tried again’. You weren’t superhuman. You didn’t always have the strength to be so delusionaly optimistic.)
When Clark did return, he was blissfully quiet and careful to keep his distance, sitting on the edge of the tub while you haphazardly washed the dust out of your hair and scrubbed the mud from your skin. Even after the water had gone cold and you’d managed to struggle to your feet, his touch remained fleeting, ginger as he bundled you in a towel and lifted you into his arms – his sudden distance no excuse to treat you like a living, breathing, capable person, apparently.
You didn’t have the energy to be frustrated. Exhausted and beaten down, you closed your eyes and rested your head against his chest, only stirring slightly when you felt Clark lower you onto a quilt-padded bed. You started to sit up, but the feeling of a hand laying over your hip was enough to stop you. When you opened your eyes, you found Clark, still standing, still staring down at you with that dazed, lovesick smile. “It’s really amazing, how someone like me could ever end up with someone like you.” He dipped lower, his lips finding the side of your throat. There was no pretense of innocent affection, this time, just his mouth on the side of your neck, his teeth ghosting over your skin. His voice was stifled by proximity, but mournfully audible. “I love you. I’m always going to love you. You know that, right?”
“I... I do.” You sounded hoarse, weak – more so than you would’ve liked. Clark nipped playfully at your collarbone, nearly breaking the skin. “I know you’ve been waiting, but—”
“Guess I’m just that impatient, when it comes to you.” There was an airy chuckle, a glint to his smile, but neither were very comforting. Again, you made an attempt to flee, and again, he found a way to keep you where you were – his hands curling around your thighs as he eased your legs apart. There was a hollow thud of body against floorboardas he fell to his knees, as he pressed yet another open-mouthed kiss into the inside of your thigh. “I just can’t help it. You make it hard for me to think straight.”
Not that he was trying to. You opened your mouth, trying to think of something that could distract him, that could convince him you just couldn’t do this, but he’d latch onto your cunt before you could spit anything out – the flat of his tongue running over your entrance while his nose ground into your clit. With your ass still blistered from your punishment and your nerves still on-edge from the cold, that was all it took for you to bolt upward – your hands automatically finding their way to his hair in a desperate attempt to pry him off of you. Of course, he didn’t budge, and of course, when he did glance up, he did it with that lovestruck expression that you’d never been able to stand. That you never wanted to see again.
That you just couldn’t seem to wipe off of his fucking face.
“Clark,” you whined, his name fractured and mangled on your tongue. “Please, I— It hurts, and I’m so tired, and I just—” You cut yourself off, swallowing harshly and trying to catch your breath. “Please, don’t.”
“Oh, sweetheart.” Your heart skipped a beat, hope swelling in your chest. He melted into your palm, grinning like an idiot. “You can relax. I promise, I’ll be gentle.”
And just like that, you felt something deep in your chest crack open and shatter.
The next time he bowed his head, burying himself between your thighs, you didn’t bother trying to stop him.
You didn’t do anything at all.
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